Mom guilt. We all have it. It derives from this notion that what we do and who we are as mothers is never enough to adequately meet the needs of our children. A little voice tells us that we aren’t being everything that we should be. If we are a stay-at-home mom we feel guilt, because our children may not be spending enough time with other kids. If we are working moms, we feel guilt because our children are at daycare and we have limited time with them. Somehow, no matter what we do or the passion behind our choices, we feel guilt intertwined with thoughts of inadequacy.
We create this idea of a “perfect mom” versus who we perceive ourselves to be. A “perfect mom” would have baked cupcakes from scratch instead of buying store bought ones. A “perfect mom” would not have missed her daughter’s dance recital for a board meeting. A “perfect mom” would have breastfed for 18 months instead of stopping at 6. This idea of a “perfect mom” is not only unobtainable, it is unrealistic.
We live in a time where standards are higher than ever. There is this expectation of perfection for which women strive. “We live in an age of high expectations that everything is a Kodak, or nowadays a Facebook, moment,” says Alan Manevitz, MD, a psychiatrist with Lenox Hill Hospital in New York. The world around us tells us what kind of parents we should be. Now is the time for moms to rid themselves of guilt that is not based on actual wrongdoing. We must set our own goals as parents according to what we know is best for our children. I once read a quote that says, “The very fact that you worry about being a good mom means you already are one.”
Here are 6 tips to help you get rid of mom guilt.
Tip 1. Strive for progress over perfection.
Progression is about the journey, the small steps you take to reach a destination. Progression allows you to celebrate the moments on the way to the goal. Perfection is an unobtainable goal that is riddled with stress. Allow yourself as a mom to relish the little moments with your children rather than only focusing on the future or the daily to do’s.
Click here to get all 6 tips.